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18 March 2012 @ 12:05 am
Broken Little Things Part 2  
Title: Broken Little Things Part 2
Author: inugrlrayn
Word Count: 1,053
Rating: Probably R or NC-17 (PG for this part)
Characters: eventual Roy/Ed
Status:: WIP
Summary: Alternate timeline ignoring the last few chapters of the manga, most glaringly the part where Roy's eyesight was restored.
Disclaimer: I don't own FMA, blah blah blah XD

This next part is still pretty short, but I was all anxious to get it out. They should be a bit longer after this.

The rest of my fics are here.

Part One




Without the benefit of daylight as a gauge, the days all ran together. Roy couldn't remember how long he'd been in the hospital anymore, or how long since he'd shifted from waiting to be healed to adapting to a malady he'd be living with for the rest of his life. Despite Ed's invitation, he kept to himself. No one needed to see him this way.

Still, staying in bed wouldn't make going home any easier. It was practicality that won out over his poor mood. Practicality, he told himself, and not loneliness that drove him out of his room and stumbling awkwardly to Ed and Al's.

It was more of a shuffle at first, as if the loss of precious sight had also ruined his balance. He desperately sought out the wall, hands outstretched until he found the door frame. Clinging to it, he sighed in frustration as he realized it wouldn't be so simple as looking in until he found Ed's room.

A stroke of luck in a nurse passing by got him directions to Ed's room and an offer of help he struggled not to rail against. Hadn't he been untouchable once? He was better than this, shrugging off a stranger's aid in favor of groping his way along rough wallpaper that did nothing to cut the clinical nature of his surroundings.

Roy curled his fingers against the wall in frustration, scowling at the way it scraped across his knuckles. He could have stomached dying for something so important, a monster's victim or made an example for his mistakes. This though, this was something far worse, his existence sputtering into nothing and every option yanked away.

The first door he reached, he nearly fell into, the wall he'd been leaning against abruptly giving way to empty space. He was almost glad for his blindness, for just a moment, that he'd never see who he'd accidentally stumbled in on. Roy righted himself with a mumbled apology and kept going, but the hall seemed to stretch on forever, with no visual cues to tell him otherwise.

"The fuck are you doing?" Whether it was sense or just a big mouth that had Ed speaking to him before reaching out, it was warning enough. He barely jumped when Ed's fingers curled around his elbow, apparently intent on leading him along whether he wished for the help or not.

Roy didn't dare ask how long Ed had been watching him suffer for the sake of his pride, but his lips were moving before he'd quite decided how to react. "Fullmetal, I'll quite capable of..."

"Oh come off it, already," Ed abruptly cut him off. There was an edge to the young man's voice, something distraught and tired, and Roy didn't need to take in his expression to know Ed was suffering too. He hated the world just then, for taking all Ed had willingly given and demanding more, and it was humbling enough to silence his protests. Ed was gentle despite his obvious distress, and Roy didn't say a word when fingers splayed along the small of his back, guiding him down the hall.

They'd reached the room before Roy had worked out quite what he was even there for. Ed steered them through the doorway and he scarcely had time to school his expression into something more sure than he felt before Al was greeting him.

He might never see the body Ed had dragged from the gate, but the sound caught in his ears and stayed there. Al's voice had lost its hollow, tinny edge, the disembodied echo he'd so long associated with the younger Elric. He could practically feel Ed beaming beside him in that moment, like what he'd given up didn't matter, because they'd won.

Roy clung to that, smiled when he didn't feel it, and reminded himself that their losses were worth it. He'd rarely had time to just talk to them, and he drank it in, whiled away the day with company that didn't leave him feeling like a failure. His team followed him to every end, and the limbo they were in now that he could not lead them was something palpable. Ed though... only seemed to want someone to preoccupy the time they were cooped up behind hospital walls. That, at least, he could give.


XXX

It was penance, Ed decided, for all the nights Al had spent sleepless by his side in hospital rooms. He was as well as he was going to be. Still battered and bruised, the worst was over, and if there were screws poking out of his shoulder, well he could move it and that was the important part.

It wasn't bad during the day. Al was awake, often enough, a smile practically glued to his gaunt features. They happily wiled the hours away with chatter and card games, strangely silent on what was to come next. They had the rest of their lives in front of them and Ed could only think to be sure Al lived it, whatever the personal cost.

The nights were harder. Restless from too many hours spent cooped up, Ed watched his brother sleep. There were no leads to follow, no possibilities to research. Every circle he found himself doodling was dead beneath his fingers, so spark of energy, no thrum of power lying in wait when he touched the lines. He'd never feel it again, but that was better than a brother who could never feel anything.

The moon shone through the slits in the blinds, cool light washing over Al's sleeping form, and Ed could never begrudge that. There was no room for regret, no place for sorrow or self pity, not when Al could wake up screaming and still manage to be grateful, even for the nightmares, before for the first time in years, he could sleep.

Al was waking again, murmuring fretfully, lost in his dreams. Denying himself even room to hurt, Ed crawled out of his own bed and into his brother's, wearily smoothing a hand over Al's hair. For every breath, every heartbeat, every night where Al scooted closer in his sleep, nose buried against Ed's throat, it was worth it. There was no power left in his fingertips but to offer comfort to someone who merited it far more.
 
 
 
Silenceheard: Nuuudamnationschild on March 18th, 2012 08:50 am (UTC)
Poor boys they're both so lost. :(

I particularly loved the paragraph describing how bereft Ed is without any more leads or research to do.
Rachel: touchinginugrlrayn on March 18th, 2012 11:51 am (UTC)
I've always seen Ed as so very task driven, I mean, his life revolved around a very singular goal. I can only think he'd have trouble adjusting at the best of times, and even more so without his alchemy.

I'm glad you liked it <3 Thank you for reading!
evilchucklesevilchuckles on March 18th, 2012 10:20 am (UTC)
*sob*

Rachelinugrlrayn on March 18th, 2012 11:51 am (UTC)
It'll get betterish eventually!!
The Binary Alchemistbinaryalchemist on March 18th, 2012 07:40 pm (UTC)
Yes...
Yes, damn it--you are hitting SO close to the bone of this story...the emotions are so dead-on and tangible I could feel my guts knotting up over Ed's sudden loss of the drive and purpose---his obsession....and Roy's helplessness. My god, this is good...
Rachel: touchinginugrlrayn on March 22nd, 2012 07:38 pm (UTC)
I was so confused in the canon ending by how easily Ed took to being without his alchemy, I can only think it would have been such a terrible adjustment for him.

In any case, I'm so glad you're enjoying it! The next part is up and there should be more soon <3
amethyst_koneko: Al wibblesamethyst_koneko on March 19th, 2012 02:20 am (UTC)
His team followed him to every end, and the limbo they were in now that he could not lead them was something palpable.

No, he can't lead any more can he. :( Roy has no future with the military now. The military won't keep a blind soldier in its ranks no matter how impressive his alchemy was or is, too much of a liability. He's just like Ed. With no alchemy, the military has no more use for Ed either. so sad. Neither of them have the goals that once drove them. One can only wonder what will become of them now. :(
Rachelinugrlrayn on March 22nd, 2012 07:39 pm (UTC)
Yeah, they're both in a pretty bad place for the moment. I'd hug them if I weren't too busy being mean :F

Thanks for reading <333
Jenny the dragonimpdragonimp on March 19th, 2012 08:05 pm (UTC)
I love where this is going! They're both so lost and trying so hard.
Rachel: Lostinugrlrayn on March 22nd, 2012 07:39 pm (UTC)
Thank you! And yeah, they've both got it pretty rough for the moment.
a_big_apple: FMA an irreplaceable fullmetal hearta_big_apple on March 20th, 2012 01:23 pm (UTC)
Gorgeous.
Rachel: prettyinugrlrayn on March 22nd, 2012 07:39 pm (UTC)
<3 thank you!