Rachel (inugrlrayn) wrote,

The Cost of Living

Title: The Cost of Living
Fandom: FMA
Pairing: Gate!Ed/Ed, implied Roy/Ed
Author: inugrlrayn Some dialogue and detailing suggested by
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or it's characters and all that jazz
Warnings: Excessive violence and rape and stuff.
Author's note: Thanks a bunch to hikaru_9 for all your help with this. Happy birthday, deary!

“You know, deep down, that it is not enough,” The bodiless words licked wickedly at his ears.

“We worked years on that stone. There isn’t anything else left to give,” Ed argued, facing the Gate with a pasted on bravery he did not feel.

“Is there really not?” Arms caressed him, playing over his face, his chest, his limbs until Ed was shivering in spite of himself.

“Just, just don’t hurt Al. Take what you want to from me, but leave Al out of it,” Ed demanded, resigning himself to the fact that he might never get to see the body he worked so hard to regain for his little brother.

“You have nothing left to give. Did you not just say that?”

“I… please, take all that’s left of me if you have to, but don’t hurt Al.” Ed was not above begging, not here, with so very much at stake.

“Perhaps,” the word lapped sickeningly at him, “You could pay with experience. You may both make it out of this alive in exchange for this one thing.”

There was a catch, always a catch, but they would be alive. It couldn’t be any worse than losing his arm and leg, could it?

“Yes, anything. What…is it you want?” He finally asked on the trail of promises he should have known better than to give.

“Just you. This one little thing and you can go home to your brother whole again, to your General, so long as you do not fight.”

“Don’t fight what?”

“This,” the voice was different, familiar, whispered at his ear. Ed turned to find himself gazing at an eerie set of golden eyes, as if he’d been looking in the mirror.

His chin was caught in metal fingers, and Ed could not look away, even as he was backed up against cold stone doors.

“What the fuck kind of thing is this?” he asked, motioning haphazardly to the figure. It looked like him, sounded like him, but something far more sinister lurked behind the eyes that were his but not.

“Would you rather something else? You’re always so noble, I’d just hate to sully some other face, some other body. Perhaps you’d rather someone else you’re… familiar with?”

Ed swallowed. It was right. It was screwing with him, but still right. He wanted to still be able to look his friends in the eye after this, still look at Roy, and this body seemed to satisfy both his need to protect those he loved, and the Gate’s brutal desires.

“No, just leave it,” he choked out.

His arms were pinned, helpless at his back, and there were teeth at his throat. His stomach twisted and burned in retaliation for his silence. This felt so very, very wrong, but… but for Al he could do it. If only he could close his eyes, pretend he was somewhere else.

One eye flicked open, despite his efforts to shut out what was happening, and his vision was flooded with gold. His eyes, his hair, his skin, and did he really look like that, wicked and angry? He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t, but he must, and so he screwed his mouth shut, forcing the words to stay put.

A tongue twisted at the shell of his ear and he recoiled in horror. There were hands on his hips, hold him, firm weight pinning him against the Gate.

“Why? Why this?” Ed grated out.

“You could still walk away,” his voice whispered back to him. “I’m sure we could negotiate some other price for your brother.”

Ed struggled to focus, to ignore the hands pulling the clasp of his jacket free. Alphonse. This was for Alphonse. After all they’d been through, there was no price he would not pay, even this.

“N…no. Just do whatever you’re going to do and get it over with,” he hissed, clamping his jaw shut against the nausea that threatened.

“In such a hurry to get back? Tell me, what will your brother think of you? What will your precious General do when he finds that he’s not the only one you let touch you?” The voice was acid in his ears, and Ed couldn’t fight the urge to pull away.

“Now, now,” the not-him spoke, cupping his jaw in steel fingers. He turned his head as an eerily familiar pair of lips set upon his jaw, nipping viciously at his throat.

Grotesque parodies of kisses fluttered sickeningly along Ed’s jaw, the corner of his mouth. He clamped his lips shut, refusing to give, not here. That, at least, he intended to keep something warm and safe and sacred.

“You’re not being very cooperative,” the thing that wore his face chided.

“Don’t kiss me. Don’t you dare fucking kiss me,” Ed spat.

“Abandoning your brother over such a small thing?”

“I’m not… look, I’m doing… this. Don’t…” Ed didn’t finish. There was a tongue in his mouth, chasing his own. A mouth crashed against his, and the only response he received when he bit down was an amused chuckle.

“It’s useless to fight. You can’t harm me,” the other him whispered, yanking at his tank top until it tore.

“Fuck you,” Ed muttered, breath hitching in horror as his belt was pulled at.


Ed’s stomach dropped as reality hit. This… this could not be happening. He’d been ready to give anything, but… but what would Roy think? There was no way he’d believe… not this.

“Perhaps if you try very hard, you could still get away,” The not-him teased, even as it pushed him to the ground.

“You bastard,” Ed growled.

He couldn’t look at this, at himself any longer. Closing his eyes, though, was only worse. The gate incarnation mimicked familiar, tender touches, and if he didn’t look, he could almost believe…

Ed choked on the urge to empty his stomach. All he had left, untainted, were memories of better times, a different face. No matter how much this tore at him, he would not sully that. Better to look his own demon in the eye than to hide in his memories and lose them forever.

There was a sharp pain, and he wrenched his eyes open. An automail blade sliced through the waistband of his pants and down his thigh, digging in enough to bathe the edge of the steel in crimson. There was a tearing sound, and the other him was ripping through leather to leave him naked save for his boots. He could not, could not. There had to be some other way to save Alphonse…

“Fear is quite becoming on you,” the other him said, licking at its lips in expectation.

That was it, the very last straw, and he lashed out, kicking with an automail foot. The other him laughed, liquid and sickening, even as steel collided with it’s face, sending it sprawling backwards. He shivered in pain at the movement of his legs. Ed pointedly ignored the oozing gash along the top of his leg, wrought with a weapon identical to his own.

If he could just get away from here, things would be alright. He could find Al, they could run for it. He rolled over, struggling to get to his feet.

“Such a shame,” the other him clucked, digging an automail heel into his back.

“This could have been enjoyable, you know.” The steel ground against his spine, pressing his belly against what sufficed for a floor until he was gasping in agony.

“You shouldn’t make me hurt you this way. It pains me.”

Ed fought to breathe as the heel at his back was lifted, replaced by a firm hand. The other Ed knelt beside him, brushing his palm tenderly over Ed’s skin, as if soothing a skittish pet.

“Really, Edward, you should be thanking me,” the other him purred, stroking metal fingers through his hair.

“Why would I do a stupid thing like that?” Ed hissed in pain as the hand in his hair tightened, dragging back and upwards on his head.

“I’ve gone so very easy on you. I let you walk away with your life once. I’m allowing it again,” the voice paused as teeth fixed gently on his ear, drawing a disgusted shudder. “I’m even giving you your brother back.”

“You’re a sick fuck. You went easy on me? You took my arm and leg! You took my brother’s whole body!” Ed shouted, trying to ignore the knee that dug between his shoulder blades.

“I could have taken yours too. Don’t you see? You toyed with places you weren’t meant to go, and I let you live. I’m not asking for so very much.” The other Ed’s tongue drew up the side of his neck and Ed keened in frustration.

“Why… why me?” Maybe, just maybe he could distract it, find a way to escape.

“Isn’t it obvious?” A hand slid down his side, cupping his hip for a moment, before fingers stroked back upwards again.

“If it was fucking obvious, I wouldn’t ask,” Ed growled, shying away as best he could from the unwanted contact.

“You’re magnificent, Edward, perfect and so very alive.” His head was yanked back a little further, the other Ed’s tongue sliding along his lips.

“Don’t fucking kiss me. You’ve already got my arm and leg. Leave… leave that alone,” Ed yanked against the hand in his hair, biting down a pained mewl as the other him pulled back.

“I only took your arm and leg because they were parts of you,” it whispered.

“Then why didn’t you just take the rest?” Ed fought and squirmed, panting as his hair was released in favor of a metal hand crushing his chest to the ground.

“And lose this? You have the most enthralling spirit, so much spite, so much fire and drive. No, no, Edward. I don’t want to destroy it. I want to own it.”

“The hell? Fucking me isn’t going to own anything,” Ed spat between gasped breaths.

“Quite the contrary, Edward,” the other him purred, leaning to nibble at the curve of his shoulder, “You will remember every time you look in the mirror, that I had you, that I held on to you like this.”

“Let me go, damn it!” Ed writhed, but the other him held fast.

“It’s such a shame to hurt a lovely being like yourself. You ought to hold still and enjoy this instead of bringing so much more pain on yourself,” the other Ed crooned, dragging fingers down his spine.

Ed growled, and fought harder. He had to get away from this, at least face it on his own terms. There was a falling feeling, sharp pain etching through his skull, and the world turned a bit fuzzy.

“Now look what you’ve made me do. You’re making a mess everywhere,” the other him chided, wiping its hands through the blood that pooled at Ed’s temple. In the haze that was his vision, he barely registered his doppelganger’s lewd smile as it brought scarlet stained fingers to its lips.

His head throbbed and ached. The automail felt too heavy to move. His whole body felt too heavy to move, and he was left with nothing more than angry whimpers with which to defend himself.

Lips pressed against his spine, still wet with his blood. “You’re behaving so well, Edward.”

“Fu…ck you,” Ed slurred, blinking in an effort to clear his vision. He had to fight back, but he could not move. Even his eyelashes were sticky with the liquid pooled beneath his cheek. The air reeked of blood, and he shuddered.

“If you’re really so eager, who am I to deny you?”

Ed felt hands at his waist, pushing. The world spun, taking his stomach with it, and he very nearly retched as he was turned and settled, hair matting in the congealing blood. His vision flickered and swam, settling finally on the reflection of himself, smiling slickly down at him. He shut his eyes, desperate to block out the feel, the sound, a soft, satisfied moan as the other him lapped the drying blood from his temple, allowing it to bleed again.

“You have no idea how beautiful you are, Edward.” Lips moved over his, tongue searching, and he didn’t have the strength to push at the figure above him. He tried, tried to bite down, but even the movement of his jaw was sluggish. Perhaps he had a concussion. After all, he had hit his head pretty hard.

“St…” Ed turned his head away, groaning as the world swam, a yellow, empty hell, slamming to a standstill in front of his eyes.

“Oh, Edward. Don’t be like that. Look at me,” his own voice purred in his ear, wrought from his doppelganger’s throat. “I love to see your eyes.”

“Go…t…‘ell.” Even he wasn’t sure what he was saying anymore. He was distantly aware of the blood still flowing at his temple, a trickle, but there nonetheless.

“Oh, this won’t do at all. I want you to enjoy this, too, Edward.” There were hands against his head, and though the bleeding did not stop, some of the fog faded. His tongue was not so thick in his throat, and though he couldn’t sit up, could barely move, he was aware again.

Fingers slid along the scar tissue at his shoulder and across his chest, pausing to flick at a nipple. Edward gasped in spite of himself, batting weakly at the other him. “Fucking stop.”

The other him grinned, “There for a moment, I was worried I might be losing you.”

Ed made a feeble attempt to wiggle away as teeth grazed his skin, lips pressing wet, open mouth kisses across his chest. Automail fingers whispered along his thighs, pressing them apart and making him hiss in pain as they rubbed against the gash in his leg.

The other Ed nibbled at his belly, down along the hollows of his hips. He tried to struggle, but there was nowhere left to go, and his head still spun from his injury.

“The hell are you doing?” he spat.

“I’m hurt, Edward. You didn’t think I was just going to act with no concern for your pleasure, did you? I want to watch you enjoy this as much as I do.”

Ed opened his mouth to reply, to lash out, but there was heat and wet and he was being devoured by lips exactly like his own. He leaned up, and his head complained at the movement. His whole body rebelled when he tried to swat this other him away. He tried to ignore the wet slide of a mouth up and down his length, but even as he shut his eyes, blond hair and golden eyes swam in his vision.

The doppelganger stroked with its tongue, the faintest hint of teeth dragging up and down. It pressed him to the roof of its mouth and he shuddered, torn between the pleasurable sensations that coursed through him, and the sick feeling in his gut.

“Stop it.” Ed bumped his automail leg frantically against the other him. He had to make it stop. He could not possibly be enjoying this. He wasn’t enjoying this, and yet… and yet his body cared nothing for his sanity. His disgust at the situation at least was enough that he felt himself flagging.

The other him pulled away, frowning darkly at him. “What’s the matter, Edward? Is this truly not enough for you?”

“Oh fuck you,” Ed yelled, attempting to take advantage of the fact that his cock was no longer trapped between a familiar set of teeth. He lashed out, struggling to kick the vile copy away, but it only chuckled at his efforts.

“There is no escape, Edward. You might as well relax and enjoy it,” it chided, hands skimming along the insides of his thighs.

Automail fingers stroked him once, twice, before drifting downwards to tease his entrance. Ed bit his lip, furious and tense and helpless.

“Relax or this is going to hurt,” it murmured. “I have no wish to damage you.”

“Fuck you.” Ed turned his head away, still squirming uselessly.

This is to protect Al. He chanted the words in his head over and over, but it did not ease the ill feeling that pervaded his senses as a slick finger invaded his body. He didn’t really want to know what it was using for lubricant.

“Perhaps this will be more to your liking,” the copy purred, pumping rhythmically in and out with that one finger. It dipped its head forward, capturing the head of his cock between its lips and sucked hard, drawing him fully into its mouth.

Ed sucked in a breath, and realized with horror that it came out a low, trembling moan. He was miserable and tormented and it was desperately unfair that this thing knew him so well. He was helpless but to respond as it pushed all the right buttons, the tip of its tongue twisting around his length, dipping into the slit.

“No,” he murmured, soft and mournful as it dawned on him that there really was no escape.

“I told you this could feel good for you,” the copy said whispered as it slipped a second finger into him. It sucked and pulled wetly at his length, fucking him with its fingers until he was teetering on edge, needy and entirely ashamed. It wasn’t meant to be like this.

Its touches were deceptively gentle, teasing in nature as it pressed and stretched inside him. Had it been any situation but this, he might have accepted it for the pleasurable thing it was, but he only bared his teeth, desperate to regain some control over his body.

“See? I told you we’d get to this eventually.” The other grinned as it removed its fingers and lips, scooting forward until its cock was pressing eagerly against his ass.

“Please, stop,” Ed shut his eyes tightly, begging in a last ditch effort. It didn’t work, of course it didn’t work. The gate had no room for mercy in a conventional sense. It believed this was merciful, abusing his body instead of taking it outright.

It’s only sex. It’ll be over soon. Ed whimpered as the creature rocked forward, sheathing itself within him. He needed, but did not want, felt full and desperate and wrong as it stroked his cheek, pulled out and thrust back in again.

The dizziness was there again, lending a surreal quality to everything. He didn’t have the strength even to turn his head, and there were lips dominating his, teeth nipping at him in a grotesquely tender fashion.

“You feel every bit as amazing as you look,” the other him noted, thrusting in and out and mouthing his throat.

Hands still slick with… whatever they were slick with coiled around his length as it fucked him, tugging his cock in time with its thrusts. Even ashamed and half broken, he was defenseless against the sensory onslaught.

Light flashed before his eyes, dragging him off into oblivion. He wailed miserably as he came, gasping for breath.

“Yessss,” the other him hissed, pumping into him twice more before it released with a shuddery sigh.

“Degradation is quite beautiful on you, Edward.”

“Get the fuck away from me,” Ed muttered angrily, trying to curl up on his side as it dragged its tongue downward, cleaning up the evidence of his climax.

“I would not find my way back here, if I were you. I have had all of you now, and there is nothing left with which to bargain if you do not wish to forfeit your life.” It grabbed his chin harshly, forcing him to look as it smiled down on him, harsh and vile, void of any true compassion.

It stroked his cheek, gentle and mockingly affectionate, sullying his lips one last time now that he had no energy to fight back with. It was only salt in the wound, and Ed’s eyes narrowed angrily though he couldn’t pull away.

“Tell your General hello for me.” The words were oily from its throat, and Ed howled in pain as it stepped back, kicking sharply at his belly with its automail now that he had nothing it wanted. Its hips shimmied and swayed as it walked away, the last thing he saw before the world went dark.

  • Take Two

    Title: Take Two Author: 
 inugrlrayn Word Count: 3,712 Rating: NC-17 Characters: Ten/Simm!Master Summary: Sequel to Take One.…

  • Take One

    Title: Take One Pairings: Ten/Simm!Master Chapter Rating: PG-13ish Word Count: 2104 Disclaimer: I don't own them and I'm not making any money.…

  • BRB stuck on Doctor Who

    So, I used to flit from fandom to fandom every few months. Then FMA happened, and I've been here for five years, give or take. Not that I didn't…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.

  • Take Two

    Title: Take Two Author: 
 inugrlrayn Word Count: 3,712 Rating: NC-17 Characters: Ten/Simm!Master Summary: Sequel to Take One.…

  • Take One

    Title: Take One Pairings: Ten/Simm!Master Chapter Rating: PG-13ish Word Count: 2104 Disclaimer: I don't own them and I'm not making any money.…

  • BRB stuck on Doctor Who

    So, I used to flit from fandom to fandom every few months. Then FMA happened, and I've been here for five years, give or take. Not that I didn't…