Summary: SPOILER FOR CHAPTER 102. Since I've already got plot stuff going on, I figured I'd take advantage of the smut potential for the chapter
Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of its characters.
The rest of my fics are here.
It was hard to say when an awkward camaraderie had balanced out, or when exactly it was that they had outgrown friendship entirely. All Roy knew was that one day he realized he truly missed being able to watch the sway of Ed’s ponytail when he walked, or the broad curve of a smile full of mischief. He had the sun itself sprawled out at the other end of his couch and yet he could only sit in a darkness that stretched out into eternity.
Ed came by more and more often, a beacon of hope or a pleasant distraction from the monotony of a world Roy could no longer see. Theory and playful banter faded into the background until Ed was sitting right beside him, so close Roy fancied he could feel the steady thud of Ed’s heart in the scant space between them.
Somewhere along the line, Roy finally closed the gap, albeit by accident. Sensory loss he was still adjusting to left him somewhat clumsy. He stretched his hands into nothing searching for the wall to lean on when he stumbled over the corner of the coffee table, but all there was were human fingers clasped gently around his arm to catch him.
Roy wanted to lash out, to rail at the world that had left him reduced to this. There was nothing light left in the world. Even when it stood so close that he could feel the weight of its presence in front of him, only crushing darkness cradled his being.
He could feel every tremor of hesitation as Ed’s palm skimmed bare skin, down his arm, pausing at the knob of his wrist. Roy jumped at the cool, blunt pressure of metal fingers pressing against bare flesh. He was too lost in the most basic of sensations, the pleasant contradiction of Ed’s mismatched hands, to mind that he was being led back to the couch.
Maybe he couldn’t see the sun, but he could feel its liquid warmth as it left him craving more. Ed made a startled sound, but did not pull away as Roy groped at empty air, finally brushing unsteady fingers across his face. He never so much as flinched when a second hand joined the first.
Roy traced the contours of Ed’s face, a face he’d never see again save for the memory of a youthful smile. His jaw had softened a bit in the last few years, and Roy drew the pads of his fingers along the curve of his chin, afraid to speak, to break the silence of the moment.
Ed’s cheeks were smooth, heated with something like embarrassment as Roy memorized them by touch where his eyes would no longer suffice. He snorted when Roy bumped into his nose, through he held still while that too was explored and catalogued away to distant memory. Roy’s thumb slid delicately over Ed’s lips and he did pull away then, his breath hitching in a way Roy did not need to see to understand.
“Fuck, I…I… sorry,” Ed stuttered out, his breathing harsh in Roy’s ear. Roy blinked unseeing eyes, taking a moment to grasp the implication without Ed’s expression to aid him. By the time he sorted out what Ed was going on about, there was no longer a warm body beside him. He reached out in search of Ed before he could stop himself.
“Please… Stay,” It was more than he could usually stomach asking for, but he needed more than he’d like to admit. Ed returned, as helpless as Roy was, a prisoner of something entirely different. He let himself be pulled back to Roy. When all was said and done, his knees caged Roy’s thighs and flesh and metal fingers threaded through Roy’s hair.
He could feel the light in Ed’s breath as it stuttered across his face. There was some level of inevitability to the way Roy tilted his chin, seeking to drown himself in all that Ed was. Ed’s mouth covered his until he couldn’t breathe for the heat of it, drawing him into a chasm of weightless nothing. He clung to Ed so as not to slip back into darkness as he drowned in the longing for warm touch and another heartbeat deafening in his ears.
He felt Ed draw back the curtains, though he never moved, never pulled his hands away from Roy’s hair and face. The sunlight was flooding, creeping into the dark until he could wrap himself up in it. Ed’s bangs tickled Roy’s cheek, silken strands of sunshine that swept over his skin with each murmur of Ed’s lips.
It was obvious the moment Ed found his confidence in this. He shifted against Roy, settling in his lap. Ed nibbled experimentally at his lip until Roy whimpered at the sensation, everything more acute with only touch to guide him. Though Ed’s kisses were a little bit sloppy, and a great deal unpracticed, it was the most perfect thing Roy could remember feeling in ages. He gave into all Ed offered and only wanted more.
Ed’s fingers curled beneath Roy’s chin, tilting his head up. He allowed the guidance, distracted by warm lips mouthing at his jaw, the slick heat of what must have been Ed’s tongue teasing his pulse. He’d always closed his eyes to kiss, but this was different, brutally poignant now that all he could do was feel. The flat pressure of Ed’s teeth pressed against the side of Roy’s neck and he jerked upward, his fingers clenching at the back of Ed’s shirt.
Automail fingers plucked at the buttons of Roy’s shirt, parting the fabric bit by bit. The cool metal was startling and delicious, soothing against uncomfortably warm skin. All he could do was sightlessly seek out Ed’s mouth, devouring the lips offered to him with a senseless abandon he rarely allowed.
Ed’s mouth was pliant against his, his lips easily parted as Roy’s tongue delved into his mouth. He traced the knobs of Ed’s spine through the crisp cotton of Ed’s shirt until his fingers caught in the collar. His frustrated sigh muffled by Ed’s lips, Roy jerked his fingers free of the fabric, eventually finding the ponytail he’d been looking for.
Roy didn’t need to see for this, to work the tie free of Ed’s hair. It fell away, lost to him completely somewhere beyond this section of the couch he knew. No matter though, because he could feel the incandescent strands of silk slithered between his fingers, and Ed murmured pleasantly, leading him away from purgatory.
Ed’s kisses drifted to the corner of his mouth, then along the curve of Roy’s jaw. His breath quivered against the junction of jaw and throat, soft puffs of air as Ed squirmed under the onslaught of fingers through his hair. Roy felt Ed’s nose against his temple, and before he could sort out what exactly was going on, he was melting under Ed’s light, wings of wax falling away in the face of teeth and tongue tugging at the shell of his ear.
Cool and heavy, Roy eventually worked out the familiar weight of Ed’s automail hand skimming his chest. He ached to return the favor, to bask in the radiance of Ed poised over him. If Ed realized the way he traced Ed’s collar, following its seams, was meant for any purpose but sensuality, he hid it well. There was a hiccupped sigh at Roy’s ear as he found his way to the button at Ed’s throat, and then further down. Unable to resist the pull of Ed’s warmth against him, Roy’s thumb skimmed bare flesh, following in the wake of his efforts.
He’d never put much thought into differentiating sound or touch, not when a glance at his partner would tell him everything he needed to know. Now though, Roy was drawn in completely by the way Ed’s muscles trembled as he ran his palm over the flat of the younger man’s belly. There was a soft, plaintive sound, nearly silent even right against his ear, and Roy might have discounted it completely if not for the way Ed’s fingers clenched, pulling at the open flaps of his shirt, and tugging the fabric taut against Roy’s spine.
All at once, the heat that bubbled its way along his nerves, the ethereal light that flashed behind unseeing eyes, was all too much. What had to be Ed’s teeth, scraped along his collarbone and down. Ed tugged experimentally at one and Roy was helpless against the way his body jerked upward.
Ed’s skin was as electric and searing as his own, and all that was left was to scramble out of his shirt, which was suddenly far too stuffy. Ed relinquished his hold on it with a low growl, and a tongue flicking against Roy’s skin until all that was left to rattle around in anything like conscious that was frantic need for more, to soak up the light Ed offered, and just maybe when it was over he wouldn’t descend right back into darkness.
Ed’s hands were everywhere, hot and cold down his sides. He’d never found pleasure in the unknown, and facing an eternity of it was unnerving. He trusted this though, the drag of teeth and tongue that forced his breath harsh and uneven from his lips, the press of fingers as if Ed were just as blind as he, that made him pull mindlessly at Ed’s shirt, desperate to relieve him of it.
“Roy.” The first thing he’d said, and it rolled off Ed’s tongue in a low moan as Roy lifted his head. Roy sought out his neck, mapping the delicate column of Ed’s throat with his lips. A whisper of fabric, falling away under Roy’s fingers, and all that remained was unyielding steel and he traced out the plates of Ed’s automail, and malleable flesh.
Not here, not here, cramped on couch cushions when all he wanted was to sprawl out and bask in Ed’s luminescence. Perhaps he’d spoken the words out loud because Ed was gone, just out of reach. It felt like falling, but even as the crushing darkness crowded in, Ed was tugging him free with gentle hands and brutal kisses, guiding him free of the confines of couch cushions and coffee table.
One, two, three, four and then he couldn’t count steps because his back was pressed to what was probably the living room wall, and Ed devoured Roy’s throat with eager kisses and rough nips. He’d never see the marks Ed had to be leaving, but he’d feel them, and remember the scorching heat of the sun beaming down.
“Stop counting,” Ed whispered, the words lapping wickedly at the shell of his ear. He heard the silent plea beneath them, for trust, for him to let Ed be his eyes for just a while. Ed’s fingers were firm pressure, cradling his hips and holding him steady. In that one moment, he craved the light more than his own control, and he caved, melting into Edward.
One, two and then Ed was kissing him again, and the need to count anymore because Ed was kissing him something like senseless, and he didn’t give a damn where he was any longer. Ed nudged him down the hall between suffocating lips, and searing hands. Roy was well and truly lost until the clanking of an old, wobbly door handle let on that they had reached his bedroom.
There was no chance to reorient himself, hardly even a chance to catch his breath before he decided Ed’s lips were far more enticing than sorting out what direction he might be facing. He traced the dip of Ed’s shoulder blades, allowing himself to be pushed back, probably into the room, one step at a time.
Definitely in the room, in fact. The backs of his knees hit the mattress and Roy drew in a sharp, startled breath as he stumbled back. Unseeing eyes stared widely out into nothing, but there was an automail arm circling the small of his back, and soft apologies bled off Ed’s lips. He was allowed to fall a great deal more gently, soothed by the constant press of Ed’s body over his.
And then he was right where he wanted to be, sprawled languidly beneath Edward. Somehow his head found what had to be the pillows because they gave more easily than the mattress and were too thick to be blankets. He tilted his head into plush fabric as Ed’s kisses gravitated back towards his throat.
A contradiction of sensation, Ed’s hands slid over his stomach, pausing at the clasp of Roy’s belt. He couldn’t see the hesitation in Ed’s expression, but he could feel it in the way Ed was frozen over him. He wanted this more than he’d been able to bring himself to want anything after all he’d lost, and he nodded his head for Ed to continue.
Ed didn’t seem to have gotten the message, or hadn’t worked up the courage, and Roy’s patience only extended so far when he needed this. He reached down, covering Ed’s fingers with his own, silently marveling at the way they fit together so well. Between the two of them, the clasp of his belt was undone, and the button beneath it.
He’d heard somewhere, years ago, that when a person lost one sense, the others compensated eventually. He hadn’t believed, because until now, lost had only begotten more loss. His dignity and his confidence had both fallen prey. Now though, he had no choice but to notice how loudly the metal scrape of his zipper sounded in his ear, how acutely he felt Ed’s fingers curl in the waist of his pants and boxers.
Roy lifted his hips, sighing as he was stripped of the last of his clothing. For a moment, Ed was gone again, only the hushed sound of moving fabric giving away his location. Roy almost asked what he was doing, but then Ed was back and the chill of metal against his thigh was not from Ed’s arm.
It was heartrending the moment he realized how beautiful Ed must be right now. He would never see the way Ed shone, a living statue of precious metals, and extension of the sun itself as it filtered through the blinds. He’d never get to watch the way Ed’s hair splayed across his shoulders, a sheet of satin that parted and slid across his skin like honey. There was no way of knowing if Ed’s eyes were the color of fresh apple juice, or if lust had darkened them to something else entirely.
Ed had never been blatantly sweet when he could help it. Still, he lifted Roy’s hands from where they lay, useless against the sheets. Warm, puckered lips brushed over Roy’s knuckles, a subtle reminder that for all he’d lost, he could still feel. Ed didn’t shy away this time when Roy’s fingers grazed his jaw. If anything, he seemed to have decided this was alright after all. He leaned into Roy’s caress, and if Roy hadn’t known better, he’d have mistaken Ed’s enjoyment for patience.
Regardless of motive, Ed sat perched over Roy’s hips, a steady weight as Roy traced high cheekbones, as he fingered feathered wisps of hair. Ed’s pleased hum quivered unmistakably through against Roy’s palm as it skimmed his chest.
Roy felt the shift in Ed’s hips just before there were scattered kisses across his collarbone. So much for patience, but Ed had never been one to deal lightly with anyone, and so perhaps there’d be another time to learn each scar he could not see. Roy fisted his hands in the sheets as Ed worked his way down. When Roy jerked up against a teasing mouth, he’d have sworn he felt it curl in a smile, a smile he knew.
He could forget like this, forget that there was anything missing. He could write off for a while, the world beyond Ed’s tongue against the flat of his belly. For once the nothingness was almost welcome, if only for the opportunity it offered Roy to lose himself in the soft press of Ed’s mouth at the hollows of his hips.
Roy’s breath caught in his throat as Ed nudged his legs apart, settling easily between them. Ed’s breath ghosted over the length of his cock and Roy squirmed, the soft fabric of the blankets balling up in his fist. He couldn’t see, but he could feel Ed’s knees pressed against the insides of his thighs. The wisps of Ed’s bangs against his skin were telltale that Ed dipped his head. He imagined molten eyes peeking out from behind Ed’s hair.
Ed’s tongue swiped over his cock, warm and wet, and just a hair past purely teasing. Roy ground out a low moan and pretended the flickers of light behind his eyes weren’t only his imagination. He reached out, coming up with nothing but empty air for a moment before his fingers settled in Ed’s hair, smoothing over its silken surface.
He’d done this plenty of times, but never when all he could do was get lost in the feeling, never when the sun itself deigned to wash over him with its brilliant light. Ed pulled the head of his cock between full lips, his tongue flicking maddeningly against it. He lowered his mouth over the length of it, and it was all Roy could do not to bury himself completely in the warmth that surrounded him.
Ed’s movements were teasing, just erratic enough to pull Roy in, teetering on the edge, and then disappointingly yank him back. The barest hint of teeth scraped against his skin, and Roy reveled in it because if nothing else, he trusted Ed. He couldn’t see the golden set of eyes that undoubtedly watched him, but he didn’t need to to know he’d find no malice there.
It was too much, too much and not enough. He couldn’t do anything for Ed like this. He wanted Ed wrapped up in his arms, to lose himself in the soft fall of his hair and the supple give of his skin. He muttered something hopefully to that effect, too distracted by Ed’s mouth bobbing over his length to be certain. He reluctantly lifted a hand from the sheets to wave it probably in the direction of bedside table, though he couldn’t be certain where he was positioned on the bed.
Ed seemed to get the idea anyway, and Roy made a soft, plaintive sound as he drew his mouth away. The air was cool against his still damp skin, and Roy shivered, listening to the slide of the drawer as Ed opened it. He could hear the drawer’s contents being rummaged through and Ed must have found what he was looking for, because he shut it once more.
Ed’s mouth was on him again, and Roy let himself be distracted. Ed pressed Roy’s length between his tongue and the roof of his mouth, and Roy growled his approval, his fingers settling once more in Ed’s hair. A human hand settled against the top of his thigh, and Roy shifted his legs further apart. Much as he wanted to, Roy couldn’t see to do this to Ed, and it seemed the next best option.
But then, Ed’s hand was gone entirely. Roy wasn’t sure what to make of it, but Ed’s breath quickened through his nose. Perhaps he was offering himself the relief that Roy could not. Roy could scarcely fault him for that, and so he only listened, drinking in Ed’s soft hums that reverberated against his length.
Ed lifted his head once more, the warmth of his body entirely gone. Roy reached out, not sure where Ed had gone, but he came up with nothing. The mattress finally dipped beside him, and Ed slung himself across Roy’s hips once more.
It wasn’t at all what Roy had expected, but he didn’t argue. He found his way to Ed’s shoulders, curling his fingers around metal and flesh. Roy sucked his lip between his teeth as Ed lifted his hips. Human fingers wrapped around Roy’s cock, holding him steady as Ed lowered himself over it.
Roy moaned appreciatively, struggling to stay still as Ed adjusted, sinking fully over the length of his cock. He distracted himself from the all encompassing sensation as best he could, feeling out Ed’s both over his. The curve of Ed’s automail port gave way to bare skin under Roy’s fingers as he traced his way down Ed’s back, finally settling at the side of his waist.
Eventually, Ed moved, lowering the rest of his body to press close to Roy’s. He traced gentle, sure kisses along Roy’s jaw, rocking his hips in some semblance of rhythm. Roy rose up to meet him, groaning in pleasure each time he found himself buried completely.
For all that Roy couldn’t do without his eyes to aid him, this came easily. The fingers of one hand edged from their perch against Ed’s side, gently skimming his belly until he found what he sought. He wrapped his hand around Ed’s cock, memorizing its weight in his hand as he brushed his thumb over the tip.
Ed moaned in approval, his movements jerky as he seemed to find himself caught between thrusting upward and back. Roy matched his movements to the rhythm Ed eventually found again, his other hand sliding up to tangle in Ed’s hair.
There was heaven in this, though he knew it couldn’t last for long. He didn’t need to see to hear the string of curses that bubbled off Ed’s lips at his ear. It was enough to feel the hammering of Ed’s heart against his skin, the press of flesh and metal fingers around his arms.
He couldn’t see Ed find release, but there was no denying its being. Ed wailed in his ear, a siren’s song dragging Roy out to sea. Ed’s body clamped down in a vice around his cock, metal and human hands scrabbling for purchase at his arms. He felt the warm splash of liquid as Ed came across his belly, with a low moan and ragged, gasping breaths.
He spiraled down into nothing, and for just a moment Roy swore he could see into forever. If light were sound it would have been deafening, and it was all there was as Roy came hard inside of Ed. He arched his spine and slumped back against the bed, Ed’s limp weight on top of him.
The world was dark again as he came back down, but Roy couldn’t find it in himself to mind. He curled his arms lazily around Ed, humming contentedly at the way Ed’s lazy kisses washed over the side of his throat. Later, it would be the same as before, hopeless and futile, but for now he could be content to have the sun in his embrace.