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19 August 2008 @ 05:08 pm
Losing Face #79 Rejected  
Title: Losing Face
Fandom: FMA
Pairing RoyxEd
Author: inugrlrayn
Rating: PG for kissing.
Prompt: 100moods #79 Rejected
Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or it's characters and all that jazz.
Author's note: angst angst angst.... that's about it.

Ed frowned at the clear blue sky overhead. It was always sunny when he was sad. Couldn’t it at least have the decency to cry so that he could? If it was raining, he wouldn’t have to keep scrubbing at his face, pressing hard with the heel of his hand. If it was raining, he would have a safe excuse to look as miserable as he was feeling. The weather had no mercy, though, and the sun shone on.

His heart pounded in his throat as he stared at the Colonel, willing himself to speak, but the words would not come. His tongue was thick and useless in his mouth, and he wanted, needed to say something to do something, but he was frozen.

“Are you alright?” Roy asked, genuine concern picking away at his usual, cold façade.

Ed tried to answer, but what could he say? What words would explain that he wanted desperately to kiss him, to rip away the uniform and just touch, run his fingers over every inch of porcelain skin? What could effectively get the point across that he was falling, falling
hard? Damn the man for being so untouchable, because all Ed could think about was glittering charcoal eyes and ivory skin, how soft Roy’s hair would feel if he could just get his fingers on it.

Cheeks pink with embarrassment at his own thoughts, Ed took a deep, choking breath.

“I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine,” Roy prodded, and that was it. Ed couldn’t live with this one more night, couldn’t stand another minute wondering.

Roy’s lips were soft and firm, different somehow from what he’d expected. He made no move to return the gesture as Ed kissed him sloppily, only blinking once when he pulled away in frustration.

“Fullmetal… I really don’t think…” Whatever Roy wanted to say was cut off.

“Please. I… I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking and I just…” Ed stammered, his words tripping over each other in their hurry to get out.

“Fullmetal,” Roy started, and there was the title, caressing Ed with just that much more despair.

“What?” Ed paused in his panicked tirade, long enough to wait for Roy to crush his heart a little more.

“Listen, this… this just isn’t an option. I’m flattered, and it’s not that you’re not… attractive.” Roy swallowed, his legendary composure cracked, and while it was somewhat out of want, all Ed saw was that he was being turned away.

“We just can’t, not while you’re seventeen, and under my command,” Roy regarded him warily, the slightest fondness creeping across his features, but the suggestion that perhaps there was a chance
after this was all over was missed entirely by Ed.

“I…sorry,” Ed mumbled, turning tail and fleeing the office, never daring to look back.

Ed refused to think about the possibility that there was more to this, that he wasn’t being rejected outright. It hurt to much to hope, not after all that he’d lost, including his dignity after that incident.

With a heavy, pained sigh, he swiped at traitorous eyes once more. There was no reason to cry. He didn’t care that his feelings weren’t reciprocated. He hadn’t wanted Roy to kiss him, anyway.
melisandre013melisandre013 on August 19th, 2008 10:06 pm (UTC)
Ah no! Ed...poor him and stupid Roy for following the rules.
Rachelinugrlrayn on August 19th, 2008 10:09 pm (UTC)
slug_belcher: fires of hellslug_belcher on August 19th, 2008 10:08 pm (UTC)
Oh poor Edo! I hope you're not just gonna leave it there....
Rachelinugrlrayn on August 20th, 2008 02:07 am (UTC)
I've not decided, but I unfortunately probably will just leave this one be.
ElegantPawselegantpaws on August 19th, 2008 11:25 pm (UTC)
Of course, you didn't want him to kiss you. What were we thinking?
Rachelinugrlrayn on August 20th, 2008 02:13 am (UTC)
Apparently denial is more than a river in Egypt.
ElegantPawselegantpaws on August 20th, 2008 02:30 am (UTC)
Tell me about it sista girl lolol!

ElegantPawselegantpaws on August 20th, 2008 02:31 am (UTC)
Addendum...be happy I didnt ask you to make sure they kissed properly. Cause sometimes, things just are as they are.
Rachelinugrlrayn on August 20th, 2008 02:33 am (UTC)
XD very true
mustanginbluemustanginblue on August 19th, 2008 11:53 pm (UTC)
And now the next mood written will feature an 18 year old Ed and Roy will find him and take him and all the fan girls will squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee their little hearts out! Right?!?! That is what happens in the next drabble...right...
Rachelinugrlrayn on August 20th, 2008 02:21 am (UTC)
Here I am, trying to write sadfic and get over my intense need to give everything a happy ending... and there you are encouraging my addiction. I see how it is. XD
Arielhappymediocrity on August 20th, 2008 12:01 am (UTC)
Aw, so sad! Pretty, though.
Rachelinugrlrayn on August 20th, 2008 02:12 am (UTC)
I'm glad to have that one out of the way. It made me sad to write it.
Charischarisstoma on August 20th, 2008 01:40 am (UTC)
Haven't we all been there and saying that you want to die has to be experienced to really be understood.
Come here Ed. I've got a shoulder or we could just go for a walk and everyone will think that I just told you a sad sad story.
Rachelinugrlrayn on August 20th, 2008 02:09 am (UTC)
I think he could use it after all that, huh?
The Icon Alchemistsky_dark on August 20th, 2008 12:17 pm (UTC)
awww, poor Ed =(
Rachelinugrlrayn on August 20th, 2008 03:07 pm (UTC)
I know! I rather feel like a jerk for doing that to him.
Lialstraightcogar on August 20th, 2008 02:16 pm (UTC)
Poor Edo. Alot of us have been in rejection land. It's not a fun place to be!
Rachelinugrlrayn on August 20th, 2008 03:06 pm (UTC)
No, it really isn't. Looks like I'll just have to write some shameless fluff to make up for it.
Lialstraightcogar on August 22nd, 2008 12:18 am (UTC)
radcat38radcat38 on August 22nd, 2008 08:25 am (UTC)
The things we miss even while we are looking. Poor Ed. Good angst. Ed just cannot see that he might have a chance in the future. When he matures he might see and understand what Roy was trying to tell him. Then we will see what we will see.
Rachelinugrlrayn on August 22nd, 2008 04:02 pm (UTC)
Poor Ed, indeed. His obliviousness knows no bounds. Someday, there will probably be a little more to this story.
winraelwinrael on November 19th, 2011 05:03 am (UTC)
been there
yeah it really hurts being rejected even if you know you've got no shot little things like I didn't really like him/her that much anyway are what help hold your heart together