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31 August 2008 @ 02:48 am
No Regrets - Part 10  
Title: No Regrets - Part 10
Fandom: FMA
Pairing: RoyxEd
Author: inugrlrayn
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or it's characters and all that jazz.
Author's note: Hey, would you look at that. I finally finished it. I apologize for any disjointedness. It was written in fits and spurts.



All Chapters Here.



It happened so quickly, he hardly remembered now. Al had stirred at the center of the array, shivering in the cold, and gasping at the sensation of touch, concrete beneath his knees, leather trench coat being draped around his shoulder. He’d stifled his reactions to overly sensitive flesh with each wobbly step, withheld all but a single gasp as Roy wrapped an arm around him, though he visibly cringed at the contact. Roy watched him turn to look at Ed, suck in a worried breath and strain against Roy’s arm to try to reach his brother’s side.

“Let’s get you to the car. I’ll come back and get Ed, I promise.”

Roy didn’t know how long it took to get him to the car, but the moment Al was situated, he returned for Ed. The older Elric lay in a broken heap, his breathing shallow and hitched.

Ed did not so much as stir as he was lifted in Roy’s arms, only faint puffs of air offering proof that he might be saved.

X

Roy tried not to think about the events that had led them here. Ed would wake up soon, and everything would be fine. It had to be.

Ed and Al shared a hospital room, and Al spent most of the time he wasn’t asleep by his brother’s side, across a hospital bed from Roy, acclimating himself to sensation again bit by bit.

“You knew.” It was the first words Al had said to him since he’d gotten his body back a week before, and they barely registered, tugging Roy from where his mind had gone, half dozing.

“Knew what?” he asked groggily.

“You knew what Ed was going to do, didn’t you?” Al fidgeted, hissed at the brush of fabric across his hand as it moved over the mattress and sheets.

“I had an idea,” Roy conceded, too weary to argue.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Al asked, thumb working worriedly over Ed’s pale, motionless, outstretched palm. His voice seemed vaguely angry, the emotion made more prominent now that it did not sound hollow and far away when he spoke.

“Would it have done any good?” Roy asked, scrubbing a hand over his face as he tried to ease back into complete awareness.

“Maybe I could have stopped him,” Al retorted, seemingly unsure of how to react to not being forceful by appearance alone any longer. He looked so small and fragile, except for his eyes, full of something Roy knew better than to toy with.

“You know you couldn’t have stopped Ed. He wanted you to have your body back, your life back, more than anything. He was willing to sacrifice anything he had to, to get it.”

“But it wasn’t supposed to be like this. What’s the point if he’s not going to be with me? What did we go through all this for?”

“Ed’s going to be alright. The doctor said the stress just burst a few blood vessels. There wasn’t actually any internal bleeding. He’s just exhausted, Al.” He hoped Al had not been told how badly Ed had been hurt, that while his body was intact, he may never wake up.

As if to lend itself to the half truths of Roy’s words, Ed sighed in his sleep, eyelids flickering briefly before he settled back into a deeper slumber. Silence fell between Al and Roy, and all that was left was to wait.

X

It was three days later when Ed awoke, beating the odds as always. His eyes flickered, weary flashes of gold set across ghostly flesh, as pale as the bed sheets. Al had been cajoled out of bed and out in the hospital courtyard by a kindly, if overly zealous nurse, leaving Roy alone by Ed’s side.

“My head,” Ed croaked, his voice foreign and parched with disuse. Roy offered a glass of water, held it to Ed’s lips when he was too disoriented to do it himself.

“Al?” Ed asked after a moment, shaking his head as if it would clear away the cobwebs, allow him to recall what had landed him here to begin with.

“Al’s fine. Just relax, Ed,” Roy soothed, running fingers through strands of blonde hair, tangled and matted from long hours of lying in bed. Reality had not yet caught up to Ed, and he leaned into the touch, the barest of smiles touching his lips. Perhaps, Roy hoped, he would be forgiven after all.

Long moments passed in silence, and Roy had just forgotten to worry about how a more coherent Ed might react to him, when the younger man pulled away, scowling as best he could under the circumstances.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, forcing himself to sit up despite the visible strain.

“I couldn’t just leave you here,” Roy responded softly.

“Sure you could have. It’s not like you cared anyway.”

“That isn’t true, Ed. I just…”

“You just nothing. I thought this was different, that maybe for once you weren’t just manipulating me into something. Damn it, Roy. You didn’t even have to try, and you had me wrapped around your fingers. You had me in the palm of your hand because I thought for once you weren’t actually trying, but it was just more of the same, wasn’t it?” Ed was gasping for breath, though he only growled and pulled away when Roy reached out to help him.

“It wasn’t like that Edward,” Roy started again.

“What was it like, then?” Ed hissed through choking breaths and narrowed eyes.

“I should have told you I’d broken your code.”

“You shouldn’t have done it to begin with,” Ed corrected.

“No, but, I didn’t do it to hurt you. I did it because I do care. Please believe at least that. I just wanted to help you.”

“Was making me fall in love with you and fucking me part of your plan to “help” me?” Ed’s breathing had evened out, and he glared angrily, the expression unmarred by fatigue and fuzzy awareness any longer.

“No, none of it.”

“I don’t believe you,” Ed bit out.

“I’m sorry, Ed. I don’t know how to fix this, but… I only did it because I love you,” Roy pleaded, and for the briefest moment, Ed’s eyes grew wide with something like understanding.

“Just… go, would you?”

“Edward?”

“Go away. Al needs me right now and I can’t think, I can’t even breathe with you here. Just leave me alone for a while.” Ed lowered himself from his perch on his elbows, rolling over until only his back faced Roy.

There were no more words, and so Roy left.

X

Four months, and Ed and Al had gone back to Rizembul. Al wrote letters now and again, letting him know how things were going, that life was shaping up to be everything they could have hoped for.

The words rang hollow, though, for Roy. He couldn’t say he regretted his actions, or that he’d have done anything different a second time around, but the house was empty every time he came home, and after the time spent with Ed, it didn’t feel right any longer.

Ed had not returned his watch, and so Roy did not resign him, but put Ed on leave, hoping it would at least hinder any questions of Ed going AWOL. Even Central seemed a little less bright, now, and Roy sighed as the clock chimed five.

It was a long walk home, and the air was chill with the last wisps of autumn, begging not to be abandoned to winter snows. Each pass of concrete under foot seemed more nondescript, as grayed and cracked as the life he was leading, and six months after he’d last seen Ed, the world seemed to have gravitated towards positively dismal.

He did not see the figure on his porch until he’d nearly stepped on him, arms wrapped around his knees as if to shield his belly from the wind.

“Edward?” Roy asked hesitantly.

“It’s no good,” Ed grumbled.

“It’s cold out here. Come inside, won’t you?”

“In a minute,” Ed conceded.

“What’s no good?” Roy asked when Ed looked like he was grasping for words.

“I tried to forget. I thought maybe if I left I could stop loving you, but I can’t even stop missing you long enough to sleep, you jerk,” Ed railed at him, blustering and flailing, though there was no venom in his words.

“Ed, I...” Roy started, but Ed was shaking his head.

“Just shut up, and listen to me,” Ed hissed, waiting for Roy to nod before he continued.

“What you did was stupid and just… how am I meant to trust you when you do stuff like that? But… but I get it, and I don’t even know how to be angry about it anymore because I understand even if you’re a jerk for doing it… I probably would have done the same thing,” Ed finished, standing with his shoulders hunched a bit, hands in his pockets, as if waiting to be turned away.

Roy tugged him close, forgetting the cold, as if he just needed a reminder that Ed was really, truly there.

Lips met his and they were scrambling back across the porch, fumbling for the door as they moved, tumbling into the foyer.

Fingers caught in his hair, yanked at his clothes, and Roy struggled to urge them towards the bedroom as garments were shed in hushed whispers across the hall carpet.

They were a naked, tangled heap on the bed by the time they reached it, desperate to be closer, never quite enough, and he ran his fingers over every inch of soft bronzed skin, etching every muscle, every curve into memory with hands and mouth, recording each murmured plea in the back of his mind.

It had never been like this. His lips were on Ed’s again, swallowing whimpers as his hands stroked and stretched, rocking in and out of Ed’s body, ghosting along his length. Ed tasted of coffee, but it was inconsequential in the face of this, as Ed arched and shifted against him, desperate for more.

He was inside then, and never once had felt more whole than he did in this one moment. Ed’s eyes flew open, and he buried his head against Roy’s shoulder, teeth sinking into bare flesh as he beckoned Roy to move.

It was frantic and disjointed, a shadow of broken pieces slowly being glued back together, but they were safe and whole now, and Ed was muttering obscenities and endearments with each thrust of his hips, eyes too bright with unshed tears.

Ed’s body tightened all around him, and Ed came with a hoarse scream of Roy’s name, dragging him along like he had no choice. They crashed into nothing, a pleasured, empty bliss, and they were silent for a while, content to just be.

Finally, Ed murmured something in discomfort, and Roy pulled out, shifting Ed back into his arms and tugging the blankets around them.

“You came back,” he whispered into golden locks of hair.

“I came home.”
 
 
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
 
 
 
The Sleeping Dragondormantdrake on August 31st, 2008 01:55 pm (UTC)
mmm. good fic.
Rachelinugrlrayn on August 31st, 2008 04:01 pm (UTC)
:D Thanks
ElegantPawselegantpaws on August 31st, 2008 02:22 pm (UTC)
Lovely.
Rachelinugrlrayn on August 31st, 2008 04:00 pm (UTC)
Why than you, darling.
Lial: spoonstraightcogar on August 31st, 2008 03:28 pm (UTC)
HAPPY ENDING! *squeee!*

And so romantic, I loved the visual of Ed huging Roy's kness in the cold!

Damn Ed is stubborn! I can't believe he lasted six month!
Rachelinugrlrayn on August 31st, 2008 03:59 pm (UTC)
Hehe, glad you liked it.

In retrospect, that wasn't exactly what I meant, but I guess it did sound that way from what I wrote, and the mental picture is cuter so I left it. XD

Indeed he is, though I imagine having an Al to distract him helped.
(no subject) - straightcogar on September 1st, 2008 11:20 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Ariel: Roy/Ed = Tastyhappymediocrity on August 31st, 2008 05:05 pm (UTC)
Aww! I wuvved it! Such a good ending! :)
Rachelinugrlrayn on August 31st, 2008 05:10 pm (UTC)
:D Glad you liked it!
ed_hanekawaed_hanekawa on August 31st, 2008 06:41 pm (UTC)
^____^
really lovely =) when i start reading i was worried =(, and the last chapter OMG you let me almost in tears!, but i glad everything go well =)
I really enjoy all of you stories and this captive me since the beginning, and let me with the intrigue since the list star to complete.
And mmmm :9 yumi yumi all the kisses and the next part of the kisses ji ji ji =).
i always love a roy who cares about ed and this was beautiful!!!
thank you for write!
take care!
Rachelinugrlrayn on August 31st, 2008 08:27 pm (UTC)
Re: ^____^
Aww, thank you very much for reading. I'm glad you enjoy my writing.

*hugs*
Athena: RoyxEd Beautifulhikaru_9 on August 31st, 2008 06:52 pm (UTC)
YaY! Very cute ending.
Rachelinugrlrayn on August 31st, 2008 08:22 pm (UTC)
:D Thanks
slug_belcher: totally wickedslug_belcher on August 31st, 2008 07:51 pm (UTC)
Soooo good! I loved it! It was such an amazing fic! Great job!
Rachelinugrlrayn on August 31st, 2008 08:22 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you liked it, sweetie!
sdiath: Pinksdiath on August 31st, 2008 08:37 pm (UTC)
Wonderful ending. I love when things work out.
Rachelinugrlrayn on August 31st, 2008 09:08 pm (UTC)
:D I'm glad you liked it.
Greed/Ed otp fangirl: mansmexgreedy_lover on September 1st, 2008 07:50 pm (UTC)
i knew this would have a happy ending! *grins* can't believe roy left ed for that long through!! i can see ed lasting that long but not roy
Rachelinugrlrayn on September 1st, 2008 08:13 pm (UTC)
Well, you know me and my penchant for happy endings. I imagine Roy left things be out of respect for Ed since Ed had practically told him to fuck off.
(Anonymous) on September 2nd, 2008 04:19 am (UTC)
you little son-of-a.... YOU TRICKED US!! you make us BAWL at the last chapter, then you pull this?! Still wonderful and still managed to make me cry, but COM'MON!! ~bleh~ your gonna get an earfull next time we talk....
Cameron
Rachelinugrlrayn on September 2nd, 2008 06:32 am (UTC)
well, you know, being female I'd rather say I'm not a son of an anything. ;) I did, didn't I? I'm rather awful like that. If it makes you feel better, the story I'm working on currently, there isn't really anyway to make a completely happy ending.
Kittypureevil230 on September 4th, 2008 04:44 am (UTC)
aww what a happy ending. glad ed wasn't going to die and forgave roy...he's called a bastard for a reason but ed still loves him regardless.
pandoraculpa on September 5th, 2008 08:31 pm (UTC)
“Edward?” Roy asked hesitantly.

“It’s no good,” Ed grumbled.


I melted here. This voice is utterly perfect for Ed; I can't really explain why, but the way he answers Roy is just so him. I could see him clearly, hear him in my head, and it just made me wibble.

Fantastic wrap-up to a wonderful story. I really did worry for Ed throughout, and just as much for Roy, as he grew more and more attached. And with the way the last chapter ended- between his anger at Roy, and the toll of the transmutation- I had my doubts as to the happy ending. But the way you pulled it out was excellent. There's no instant forgiveness, but rather the realization that love sometimes demands we put our egos aside in its service.

Terrific story. Bravo! :D
Rachelinugrlrayn on September 5th, 2008 08:44 pm (UTC)
Aww, thank you very much! I think that sometimes the sacrifice that love requires is a hard lesson to learn, but and relationship worth having is worth learning it for.

I seriously considered giving this a sadder ending, but after all the rest of the crap I put those two through, I figured they deserved this. ^_^ I did want it to at least be realistic, and I don't imagine an immediate kiss and make up would have been that, so much.

Glad you liked it! Thanks for reading, deary!
Sheree: hu hu hu Edoshaz_ashuri on September 6th, 2008 01:28 pm (UTC)
wow... i'm so glad i came across this fic!! its so well written~ so many melt-worthy moments~ <33 i loved it!
Rachelinugrlrayn on September 6th, 2008 05:07 pm (UTC)
:) Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.
kakeochi on September 14th, 2008 09:44 pm (UTC)
OMG. SO beautiful. <3

I'm actually so in awe of your fic that I think I'm going to go read it again. I love how you managed to seamlessly move from Roy and Ed being awkward around each other to them being friends, to falling in love. It was just so... deliciously well done.

My favorite part of the whole story would have to be the time Ed was making Roy breakfast. XD I just love the image of Ed perfectly content at home, making breakfast, the early morning light filtering through the windows... he'd look like an angel. *fangirls*

I also especially love your characterization of Roy. Even though he seems calmer and more mature than Ed, he doesn't seem -older- like that. He's mischievous and pokes his nose where it doesn't belong, which is a good thing or none of this would've happened, but still... I like how they seem to take on traits that the one would expect the other to have.

But what I love about your story the most is the end. It was just beautiful and warm and fantastic, like a really, really, REALLY good snickerdoodle. XD

I should've commented after each chapter, but I just couldn't wait to get to the next one by the time I was done reading one. Speaking of which, the wait would've killed me, so I'm incredibly glad its all done. So here's the longest one I've ever written, I think. ^^

Thank you so much for sharing. ^_________^
Rachelinugrlrayn on September 14th, 2008 10:04 pm (UTC)
Aww, I'm really flattered that you liked it so much. :)

You know, that sort of relationship progression, as a theory, is what started this story. I was worried it would sound stilted or not ring true, and I'm so glad it worked out well.

I totally have a thing for domestic situations between those two. Anyone can have sex, but it's the little things like that that really make a relationship special. Hehe, you make me wish I was a better artist so I could draw angel!Ed now.

:) I'm glad you like him. Honestly, I think that caring a lot about someone sort of tends to override maturity sometimes. I was sort of trying to approach this from the perspective that eventually Ed would mature a bit in his own mannerisms, and hopefully it would lend some equality to their actions.

I'm so glad you liked it! Oh man, you make me want snickerdoodles. :D

Oh, it's fine! I actually sort of prefer one big comment to a bunch of one liners. It lends itself better to an actual discussion. Thanks for taking the time to comment at all! I always love hearing from people. :)

Thanks for reading!
(no subject) - kakeochi on September 15th, 2008 08:14 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - inugrlrayn on September 15th, 2008 08:18 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kakeochi on September 15th, 2008 02:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - inugrlrayn on September 15th, 2008 04:07 pm (UTC) (Expand)