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15 September 2008 @ 04:11 am
Song of the Broken Hearted - Part 9  
Title: Song of the Broken Hearted - Part 9
Fandom: FMA
Pairing: RoyxEd, Alter!RoyxEd
Author: inugrlrayn
Rating: NC-17 eventually
Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or it's characters and all that jazz.
Summary: Post movie. Ed has resigned himself to being stuck on our side of the Gate. Roy tries to find a way to bring him and Al home and the ensuing accident results in both a moral and emotional dilemma.
Author's Note: A huge thank you to hikaru_9 for all her assistance with this chapter.

All Chapters Here

Alright, so this time I was just too lazy to go upload the song from my other computer. Also, this video had the lyrics, and I figured that might help it make sense. :D

Ed didn’t bother to open his eyes, stretching along the length of the mattress and rolling over in an attempt to shelter his face from the sun. His stomach growled expectantly, but it was warm and comfortable here, and he didn’t want to get up just yet, and… there was hair tickling his nose. Arms wrapped protectively around him, and that didn’t seem right because he really ought to be home by himself in bed.

He blinked once, twice, his vision swarmed with ebony strands of hair, mussed with sleep and still poking at his nose. Ed snorted and sat up, rubbing his eyes as Roy sleepily regarded him.

“What am I doing here?” He hadn’t really spent the night at Roy’s had he? A cursory glance down revealed he was still in just his boxers, and he blushed, tugging the blanket self consciously, a little tighter around himself.

“You were too cute to wake up.” Roy only grinned in response to the scowl Ed offered.

“Your clothes are probably dry by now, and you’re welcome to borrow something if they aren’t.” Roy’s words reminded Ed of the rain the day before, and everything that had transpired came rushing back, like hail on his battered mind. All that he’d done, and why on earth had he been so stupid? He had the distinct feeling he’d somewhat used Roy and that really wasn’t fair. Ed fought the urge to hide his face in his palms or go back to sleep and try this waking up bit again in a few hours.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Ed murmured, searching Roy’s eyes for something that would let on his anger or sadness or…something. Whatever he felt, though, was carefully walled away, and somehow that terrified Ed more than anything.

“What are you apologizing for? You weren’t feeling well. I was the one who put you here, remember?”

“No…not that.” He couldn’t say it and he had to say it. Ed wouldn’t let this become something bad between them. He was finally remembering what it was like to really like another person, enough to entertain the idea of something longer term, and he wouldn’t jeopardize that with his own pride and embarrassment. “I mean…I mean yesterday, before I was sick. I didn’t mean to…” Ed trailed off, hoping Roy would at least understand what he was trying to say.

“Ed.” Roy’s face had softened, warm and open once more, and Ed was more than willing to take any sort of tongue lashing he might dole out just to never have to see that masking look on his face again.

“Listen. It’s not that I don’t…” Roy paused, considering his words. “It’s not that I’m not attracted to you. I just think that we should take this slowly. Things like…” he paused to swallow, “yesterday… anyone can do that, but if there’s no love there… it’s just empty. That’s not why I want to be around you. I want to know you, Edward. I’m not saying never, but just… not right now.”

It was a strange sort of comfort that settled in the pit of Ed’s stomach, soothing and mending his frayed nerves. It had been just the opposite the last time. He’d fallen into bed and then taken the time to learn about who the other Roy was. Perhaps that’s why he’d always felt the need to leave, because if they weren’t having sex, sometimes he felt like he was intruding in some odd sort of way.

Roy sat up a bit, resting his weight back on his arms. His eyes drifted over Ed more in a curious fashion than anything. The way they settled on Ed’s automail shoulder made him feel like the sun shining through Roy’s window was a spotlight on the steel appendage.

“So how does it work?” Ed wasn’t sure if he was relieved that Roy had changed the subject, or embarrassed that the subject was him.

“The wires are attached to my nerves, kind of. If you want a more detailed explanation, you’re asking the wrong person. I didn’t make them.”

Roy started to reach out, as if to run his fingers over the metal, but he hesitated, hand frozen in midair. Ed shut his eyes, heaving a put upon sigh.

“Oh, fine.”

It was pressure that he felt more than the caress of fingertips, and only his eyes told him exactly what Roy was doing. He allowed his arm to go limp as Roy picked up his wrist, and almost let himself be amused as Roy’s head tilted to the side a bit, eyes roving as if mapping every joint and screw.

Fingers made their way gently -- and that was also a little bit endearing given the life he’d led and that it was metal -- up his arm and along the port until he reached scar tissue. Only then could Ed really feel whisper light touches of Roy’s hands on his skin. He shivered in spite of himself, somewhat grateful that Roy was so entranced by the automail he hadn’t noticed.

“Are you quite done?” Ed grumbled. Roy pulled his fingers from Ed’s shoulder, running his hand sheepishly through his hair.

“Sorry… it’s just that I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“Well, now you have.”

“I didn’t mean to upset you.” The expression on Roy’s face had settled into something of an apologetic pout, and Ed couldn’t help but laugh.

“It isn’t you. It’s just that the whole reason I cover it up is so that I don’t get treated like a science experiment,” Ed explained.

“Sorry. I didn’t even think of that. I just couldn’t help it.” He picked up Ed’s automail hand again. “It’s really amazing.”

“It’s functional,” Ed conceded, blushing as Roy pressed his lips to metal knuckles.

“It’s sort of a shame you always wear long sleeves and gloves.”

“It makes people look at me funny, so, I think I’ll just keep hiding it, thanks.” Not for the first time, Ed found himself somewhat missing a world where he didn’t need to hide his automail, but even there, it had induced stares of shock or surprise, and so he had anyway, most of the time.

“Those people are foolish. It’s no less beautiful than the rest of you.” Roy looked so honest in his compliment that Ed almost felt guilty for groaning at the words.

“Did you seriously just say that?” Ed slapped his human palm over his face, parting his fingers to look through the cracks.

“What’s wrong with it? It’s true. Edward, you’re beautiful.”

“That is, hands down, the most ridiculously corny thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

“You just haven’t been around me long enough, then.” There were lips at the corner of his mouth, feather light, there and gone, and then Roy had dragged himself from the bed and was looking through the closet for clothes.

“Oh man, I really didn’t mean to stay all night,” Ed groaned, looking at the clock. “I should get home.”

“You didn’t eat dinner last night. Stay for breakfast at least.” It wasn’t a question, and Ed couldn’t really think of any good reason to object, anyway. Ten minutes later found him dressed and padding down the hall behind Roy towards the kitchen.

It wasn’t until he spied the clock in the living room that it really registered. He had spent the night, and now it was the next day, and it was ten in the morning.

“Shit,” he cursed, heading for the hallway in search of his shoes.

“What?” Roy looked genuinely perplexed.

“It’s ten in the morning. I have to be at the observatory, and aren’t you supposed to be at work or something?” Ed grabbed his shoes, and was startled by a hand on his arm and a very amused smile.

“It’s Sunday, Ed.”

“Sunday?” Ed didn’t even notice as his shoes were plucked from his fingers and allowed to fall back to the floor with a dull thud.

“Yes, Sunday. You know that day that comes after Saturday. It’s called Sunday and neither of us work on it to the best of my knowledge.” Roy was smirking at him, but it was no so sarcastic as the one he remembered, only playful.

Ed was torn between the urge to snip something back, and relief that Roy really was capable of being something other than nice. There had been something disconcerting about being treated so gently, and he wasn’t sure how long he could put up with someone who looked like Roy and acted like… Al or something. In the end, he settled for a shake of his head before he followed Roy into the kitchen.

Half an hour, a glass of orange juice, and a plate of pancakes later had them sitting in the kitchen, talking about mostly nothing. Despite the mundane conversation, it felt more intimate, seeing Roy still sleepy, strands of hair poking at odd angles, a pen in his mouth as he wrote something on a notebook Ed didn’t even remember him grabbing, than it had the day before, half naked and desperate.

It pleased him that this intimate feeling wasn’t uncomfortable. He actually sort of felt welcome, because even though Roy had fallen silent, scribbling words faster than Ed could follow across the table, he glanced up in between thoughts, offering an affectionate sort of smile when he thought Ed wasn’t looking.

“I thought you said you didn’t work on Sundays,” Ed commented finally, leaning over in his seat trying to catch a glimpse of whatever Roy was writing.

“This isn’t work,” Roy responded absently, pulling the notebook just out of Ed’s line of sight.

“Well, what is it?” Ed asked curiously.

“A book eventually,” Roy responded, lost once more to lined pages and scribbling words.

“You’re writing a book?”

“Yes, and no you can’t read it right now.” Roy cut him off before he could ask.

“But I let you ogle my automail.”

“What’s that got to do with anything?” Roy asked, hovering over his writing as if it were some precious item that Ed might possibly decide to run off with. It was amusing in any case, and Ed laughed.

“Okay, fine.” Ed stuck his tongue out and Roy sort of sulked, and Ed was pretty sure that the other Roy had never written anything without being forced so he had nothing to compare it to, but he couldn’t help wondering what was written on those pages.

“You know,” Ed pointed out, “I’ve probably read dozens of your newspaper articles. How is this any different?”

Roy was silent for a long while before he answered, “Because this means something.”

“Aren’t you the one who said you wanted us to know each other?” Roy looked stricken at that, and almost panicked, finally let out a defeated sigh and slid the notebook across the table.

“Listen, if it bothers you that much…” Ed frowned. Roy shook his head, buried in his palms in a way the other Roy never would have done. Ed wondered if his cheeks were actually a little flushed between his fingers, or if it was just his imagination.

The more Ed read, the more confused he was about Roy’s hesitance. After all, it wasn’t like what he’d written was lacking. It was very good, even, words that were tangible and heartfelt and beautiful. Ed was the littlest bit jealous of whatever had inspired them, because whatever it was was powerful and touching.

“What the hell are you doing writing newspaper articles?” he asked finally, breaking the awkward silence between them. Roy only looked confused, as if they’d been talking about ice cream, and he’d just asked what color pony he’d like if he could have one.

“What do you mean?”

“This is really good,” Ed answered honestly, lips quirking up at the way Roy blushed, as if entirely surprised by Ed’s opinion.

“It’s just something to pass the time.”

“Well, you seem to enjoy it.”

Roy nodded, a drawn out sigh escaping from his lips.

“Maybe you should be doing that instead of your current line of work,” Ed suggested. Roy just shrugged noncommittally, and so he dropped it. It seemed like it might be a sore spot for him, and Ed was almost sorry he’d even brought it up.

The only sound for a few moments was the ticking of the clock in the other room, deafening in the wordless space between them.

“Can you swim?” Roy asked, shattering the quiet.

“Umm, it depends on what you’re definition of swim is…” Ed trailed off. “Wait, is this another one of your ‘Do you know how to drive’ questions?”

“That was an honest question! I was just curious,” Roy retorted.

Ed considered just answering the question, but suspected there was more to it. This Roy was not terribly good at hiding his expressions.

“What is it you’re actually wanting to know?” he demanded finally, almost laughing at the disappointed look Roy gave him at being discovered. He hoped, from the back of his mind, that Roy would never learn how not to be discovered, at least not in his case.

“Is your automail light enough to swim?”

Ed groaned, palm against his forehead, “Not the automail, again. Seriously, what is it with you?”

Roy said nothing, and Ed couldn’t decide if the hint of a grin on his face was at annoying Ed or the prospect of actually getting an answer.

“I can wade in the water. I mean, I guess I might be able to swim if I really tried. I just… don’t.”

Roy looked like he might be mulling over the answer, which seemed rather pointless as far as Ed was concerned. It wasn’t like there was anything confusing about it.

“Do you like swimming?” he prodded finally.

“I just told you I don’t even know if I can swim. What kind of question is that?” It occurred to him then that Roy really might just want to know if he liked being in the water, and that was normally just the easiest way to ask. After all, asking if he liked water sounded ridiculous.

“It’s nice sometimes,” Ed conceded finally.

Roy nodded thoughtfully, and for a second, Ed was just glad he’d finally stopped asking questions. Then, it occurred to him that, at least when he’d been talking, there’d been some sort of hint as to what was going on in his mind. Now, he could be planning anything, and Ed was helpless to stop him.

“Why does it matter, anyway?”

“I was just curious,” Roy evaded.

“Please. Please just tell me that you really do like me for something other than the automail,” Ed mock pleaded.

“I don’t know. I mean, the automail is pretty intriguing…and quiet…” Roy let the words die on his lips rather pointedly.

“Hey! Where do you get off complaining about me not being quiet? You’re the one who never stops asking weird questions.” Ed flailed in his seat, nearly falling out of the chair.

Roy was laughing at him, and this was war. He reached towards the counter, grasping for something, anything that would make for a suitable projectile. The chair picked right about then to chafe beneath the bit, deciding it had had quite enough of this tipping back business. Ed hit the floor with a resounding crash, pulling a plastic cup with a bit of orange juice still in it off the counter.

Ed tipped back with his legs in the air and his head on the tile, orange liquid leaking across his shirt did nothing to quell Roy’s amusement.

“I hear it’s more useful when you drink it,” Roy joked, “Unless of course you were really desperate for an orange shirt.”

“You better be far, far away when I get up.” Ed hissed.

“I’m unbelievably terrified,” Roy deadpanned, barely schooling away a smile long enough to finish.

“Oh, that is it. You are so dead,” Ed growled, lurching from his rather awkward spot on the floor and pouncing on Roy, who at least had had the sense to dislodge himself from his chair. The force of it sent them both stumbling back into the hallway, a fallen pile of tangled limbs and broken laughter.

“Jerk,” Ed muttered in the most serious voice he could muster at the moment, pulling himself free.

“Brat,” Roy shot back, lips still quirked, even staring up at a now standing Edward from where he’d sprawled on the floor.

“Don’t think I’ll forget about this.” Ed held out a hand, dragging Roy up from the floor.

“I’d be disappointed if you did.”

“That’s it. I’m going home. You can come bother me when you’re done being an insufferable pain in the ass.”

Roy offered a not very believable affronted expression. “Me? I’m fairly certain I’m not the reason we ended up on the floor.”

“You were making fun of me.”

“Only because that predicament happened in your attempts at finding something unpleasant to launch at me.”

“That’s because you were being… Oh shut up.”

Roy was laughing again as Ed tugged on his shoes.

“Tell your brother hello for me.” Roy walked with Ed towards the foyer.

“Yeah, yeah.” Ed was smiling again, all seemingly forgiven as he reached the door.

“See you later?” Roy asked, grasping Ed’s human wrist lightly in his hand.

“Maybe. I don’t know what Al has planned. I’ll let you know, okay?”

Roy’s lips brushed against his cheek, affectionate and chaste, lingering only a moment before they were gone, as if the day before had never even happened. He pressed his forehead against Ed’s, a smile painted along the crease of his lips.

(Deleted comment)
Rachelinugrlrayn on September 15th, 2008 09:42 am (UTC)
haha, I just had nothing to do today and my brain wouldn't stop.
Athena: RoyxEd Beautifulhikaru_9 on September 15th, 2008 09:53 am (UTC)
Glad i could help you out. :D Sorry if i seem pushy while 'suggesting' XD
Rachelinugrlrayn on September 15th, 2008 04:17 pm (UTC)
It's much appreciated. Nah, not at all. I'm stubborn when I actually care about something. If I'd felt particularly strongly about any of your suggestions, I would have said. :)
Athenahikaru_9 on September 15th, 2008 09:12 pm (UTC)
Good! <333
priestess_grrrlpriestess_grrrl on September 15th, 2008 01:15 pm (UTC)
Yay! New chappie! And they're fighting! This is a good sign. Alter!Roy is WAY too civil. I loved he wasn’t sure how long he could put up with someone who looked like Roy and acted like… Al or something. That's so it! It would drive me crazy, too! Nicely done. And I love the music again, it's perfect! ^_^
Rachelinugrlrayn on September 15th, 2008 04:15 pm (UTC)
Glad you liked it, sweetie. Alter!Roy really is entirely too nice. I think I'd be tempted to like... smack him with something entertaining after a while just to get a reaction. I'm glad you liked the song, too! :)
Andra Sashner: FMA_Ed kisses Roy's foreheadandra_sashner on September 15th, 2008 01:31 pm (UTC)
Oh sweetness. You're doing a good job of bringing up what I would see as negative points on Ed's relationship with Amestris!Roy as just Ed's thoughts --the getting up and leaving because it seemed to intrude. It's a subtle point out in Ed's mind on differences without tacking on an idea of whether he liked it or not; its just a fact.

Ed is lovely here, nervous and awkward and insecure. Alter!Roy is winning me over a little. Just a little. They are still budding and I maintain the feeling of Ed and Amestris!Roy having something more solid. But I do like that Ed has got his head on right about this, and alter!Roy wants to take things slow (soooo romantic...!).

More sweetness, getting not just past Al but on his good side, and some relationship in action moments (overcoming a fight or misunderstanding; just to weather them a little) and I think I'd be completely convinced. Mind you, that would still be just a starting point for the relationship --Happily Ever After is still something I would love to have a peek into.

Thanks for sharing!
Rachelinugrlrayn on September 15th, 2008 04:14 pm (UTC)
You always leave the most thought provoking comments :)

Well, I don't want to paint either relationship as "good" or "bad". They both just are. That's why I've been trying to show a lot of Ed and Amestris!Roy's dynamic in flashbacks, and focus a lot on the details of Ed and alter!Roy.

Yeah, I agree on the solidity issue. After all, Ed and Amestris!Roy were years in the making. Alter!Roy and Ed had barely met. Hehe, I was trying to avoid making their relationship have anything to do with looking good naked together. XD

I rather have plans on both those counts and a few more. I want their relationship to be completely understood before plot hits the fan after all. XD

Thanks for reading!
Greed/Ed otp fangirl: roy/ed moviegreedy_lover on September 15th, 2008 03:01 pm (UTC)
alter!roy is adorable. but that's why i also avoid alter!roy fics. besides it being a sad thing for me, i'm also going to be sad for whichever roy doesn't get picked. because i know i will like the alter one
Rachelinugrlrayn on September 15th, 2008 04:02 pm (UTC)
I know what you mean. Poor alter!Roy usually gets the short end of the stick, too. Thanks for reading!
Greed/Ed otp fangirl: roy/ed moviegreedy_lover on September 15th, 2008 04:22 pm (UTC)
well, in some of them, ametris!roy gets the short end of the stick too. and i will end up liking both roys and be like, but what about this roy? which is why i usually just say a threesome XD but yeah,, ed usually ends up in a sucky situation
Rachelinugrlrayn on September 15th, 2008 05:27 pm (UTC)
You have a good point. Well, this doesn't promise to be a less sucky situation, unfortunately. Poor Ed.
Lialstraightcogar on September 15th, 2008 06:26 pm (UTC)
Yay! This chapter had a much fluffier ending. I needed that!

Loved it, as per usual.
Rachelinugrlrayn on September 15th, 2008 06:28 pm (UTC)
Well, even I can't write angst all the time. XD

I'm glad you liked it, dear!
Elfenelfen on September 15th, 2008 07:06 pm (UTC)
So... any chance you will upload the song again please? I obviously need to go hunting for a ton more 'A Fine Frenzy' because their music is beautiful.

I loved the interaction between Roy and Ed in this scene so much. They are so cute together, but at the same time it's still bittersweet as I anticipate what might happen in the future. *sigh*
Rachelinugrlrayn on September 15th, 2008 07:35 pm (UTC)
tell you what. I shall do you one better. I've got the whole album and I'll upload that to yousendit or megaupload or something, after I take a nap and have time to mess with the computer it's on. :)

:D I'm glad you liked it! Yeah, it's sort of just waiting for something bad to happen, huh?
Elfenelfen on September 15th, 2008 07:43 pm (UTC)
Thank you!! <3

Rachelinugrlrayn on September 16th, 2008 02:03 am (UTC)
Elfenelfen on September 16th, 2008 02:40 am (UTC)
Thanks so much, hon!
Rachelinugrlrayn on September 16th, 2008 03:16 am (UTC)
Hey no problem! Enjoy!
Sophiasnarry_fan7 on September 15th, 2008 09:36 pm (UTC)
Very cute and just awww, lol. I like the domesticity feel to this chapter and how their relationship is developing. Lovely work!~Sophia
Rachelinugrlrayn on September 15th, 2008 10:17 pm (UTC)
:D Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
mustanginbluemustanginblue on September 16th, 2008 02:49 am (UTC)
Hehehe Edward is always getting dirty...hehehe This Roy is mucho sappy but its cute! More please!!!
Rachelinugrlrayn on September 16th, 2008 03:17 am (UTC)
Yeah, this Roy is ridiculously sappy. It makes me want to beat him with a shoe or something a tiny bit. XD Working on the next chapter, now!